


The Red Oak Tree

by Lakritzwolf



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, fili and kili are not related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4762073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakritzwolf/pseuds/Lakritzwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the <a href="http://gatheringfiki.tumblr.com/post/127826595685/summer-fandom-raffle-exchange-prompts-masterlist">Summer Raffle Fandom Exchange</a>  on tumblr<br/>Prompt 26: Lumberjack Fili, Wood nymph Kili: Stop cutting down my home!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Red Oak Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Illustration by the amazing [striving-artist](http://striving-artist.tumblr.com/). Thank you so much!

**Lonely Mountain Forest Estate, Winter 1949**

Phillip O’Durin, or Fili, for his friends, wasn’t a superstitious man. He had never, not even as a child, believed in ghost stories, in the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, Father Christmas, or anything else like that. There were no fairies, no spirits, no ghosts. 

He had no idea that this winter would change his life. 

He had survived the war. He would have thought that alone was change enough.

Fili had been in search for a simple life, as far away from cities and their bombed out shells of houses as possible. A job for the Erebor Company as a woodcutter was exactly what he was looking for; it meant spending most of the year so far away from civilisation that the nearest object of interest was a crossroads leading to either Laketown or the Mirkwood Estate, both several hours’ drive away, if you had one of those fancy modern cars. In their old lorry, a pre-war model that he and his friends kept on the road with spit and copper wire, it was a day at least, depending on the weather.

It suited Fili fine. They stayed in a log cabin on a clearing, had a vegetable garden, an apple tree, and once a month one of them would drive to Laketown for supplies like flour, sugar, coffee and tobacco. 

Fili had just yesterday returned from such a supply run, and today, joined the others in the eager anticipation of stretching his muscles again after spending two days (and the night) in the old lorry. 

Chatting and laughing with the others, and warmed and filled up by Bombur’s generous breakfast of porridge and bread with bacon of the badger Bofur had shot the week before, he was more than ready to get back to work. 

And now he was eyeing the large red oak with his professional eyes. Tall and straight, it would bring a handsome price, and Oakenshield would be happy about the high quality wood. Fili shouldered his axe and spelling hammer, checked the shim in its holster of his belt, and headed towards the tree. It stood somewhat solitary, surrounded by empty space as if the other trees hadn’t quite dared to grow too close. Fili smiled and spat into his hands before put the spelling hammer down. It would make his job that much easier. 

He picked up the axe, failing notice the bare branches above rustling without a breeze stirring the air. He lifted the axe, and then realised he had lost the shim. Putting the axe down with a few choice curses, he walked across the tiny clearing again and picked it up.  
And when Fili turned around, his heart skipped a beat. Maybe several. His hairs stood on edge, and a cold knot of horror formed in his stomach.

There, next to the tree, stood a creature straight out of a nightmare. It looked vaguely human, especially the face, but that face was grey and wrinkled. Ancient. The eyes were brown, dull and tired. But the rest of the creature was lankly and wiry and looked as if it was made of dead twigs. It leaned against the tree for support as if it couldn’t keep itself upright on its own.

“Please,” it whispered, his voice like the rustle of dried leaves. “Stop cutting down my home.”

Fili took a step back, stumbled over a root and landed painfully on his backside on the frozen, snow-covered ground.

“Please,” it begged. “Please don’t cut down my home.”

Fili scrambled to his feet, staggered a few steps back, too afraid to turn his back to the creature. But the... that thing... whatever it was, kept holding on to the trunk of the perfect red oak Fili had meant to bring down. He took another step back, then turned around and ran.

He ran until he was so out of breath that he had to stop. Bending forward, hands on his thighs, he watched his breath fog heavily in the cold winter air and closed his eyes. Then he remembered his tools. Practically brand new, he had bought them only months ago. “And I just had them sharpened,” he muttered. “God fucking damnit.”

He couldn’t come back to the cabin without the tools. He couldn’t even tell anyone about what he’d seen, about what he thought he’d seen. Maybe he was still too tired from spending two days and a night in the lorry. And last night he and his comrades had put quite a dent in their whiskey supply, too. That had to be it. A figment of imagination from a tired, hung-over mind.

Nodding to himself, he straightened the front of his jacket and made his way back to the clearing, his heart hammering in his chest. “Silly idiot,” he muttered to himself. “Stop acting like a girl and do your fucking job.”

He hadn’t even realised he had slowed down, and when he had reached the clearing, his hands were shaking.  
But there was nothing. There it stood, the perfect red oak, and when he hesitantly walked up to it, he couldn’t see any trace in the snow. “Of course not, you stupid oaf.” He picked up his axe. 

Half an hour later, he had put as much of a distance between him and the red oak as he could, and when he had put the axe to the trunk of another red oak, albeit one that wasn’t as perfect as the other, he heard and saw nothing. And soon, as his muscles worked and he warmed up, and his breath fogged heavily in the cold air, he had all but forgotten the apparition that had begged him not to cut down his home.

**Lonely Mountain Forest Estate, Summer 1950**

Fili had never talked about what had happened last winter. Not to his closest friends, Bofur, Bombur and Bifur with whom he had spent the last years; the summers in Oakenshield’s sawmill and the winters in the forests. Now he had a week’s holiday, and what had made him go back to the forest, seeking out the clearing with the perfect red oak, he couldn’t say. 

The trees now cast most of the ground in shadow, and the occasional shaft of golden summer light turned the tiny midgets into dancing spots of light. Somewhere behind him, he heard the unmistakable sound of a woodpecker. His heart was still beating hard when he had reached the clearing and looked up at the crown of the red oak, the dense foliage casting his face in shadow. The ground was covered in patches of moss and what he had believed to be the trunk of another tree covered by snow turned out to be a large boulder. 

Fili slowly walked towards the tree and listened to the woodpecker. The air was warm now and smelled of earth, rotting leaves and sun-warmed bark. 

“Thank you,” someone said behind him, and Fili was sure his heart stopped for a moment. He spun around and pressed his back against the tree. 

The memories of the withered, frightening creature vividly in his mind, Fili was unable to connect the creature before him with the one form his memories, if it hadn’t been for the words.

Tall and lean and graceful, skin pale but healthy and with a few tints of brown and green, all giving him the look of a freshly de-barked branch. The face was achingly handsome with dark eyebrows and large, brown eyes. But that was where the likeness to a human being ended. Long black hair reached his ankles, and the lack of any clothing left Fili in no doubt about the fact it was male, but the hair was streaked with what looked like branches of a willow, strands of the long, narrow leaves blending with hair that shone like a raven’s feather. It spoke with a soft and clear voice.

“Thank you for sparing my home.”  
Fili’s throat was too dry to swallow.  
“You need not be afraid. I bear no ill will towards you. I am well aware of the need for wood humans have.” He smiled gently. “And you did not destroy my home after all.”

Fili goggled at the apparition. He still couldn’t process that this beautiful being was the same as that withered, dreadful creature he had seen in winter. 

Finally, he found his speech back. “What... what are you?”  
A merry laughter. “I am what your ancestors called a wood nymph. And I must admit that they have been much less afraid of me and my kind than you are. Am I that terrible to look at?”  
Fili gulped. “No... not... not really. But... last time, you were.”  
“Yes.” The creature nodded. “In winter, we sleep with our trees. Like them, we awake in spring. I only awoke because the tree felt the danger.”

“How do...” Fili croaked, and then decided that he would most likely not understand the answer anyway. Instead, he looked at the nymph again, a strangely beautiful creature. It... he... returned the look with a twinkle in his eyes.  
“Many creatures need trees to live off,” he said. “Most of them don’t kill the tree, though, like woodpeckers. Beavers, though, are another matter entirely.”  
“What about bark beetles?” Fili asked, fascinated despite himself.  
“Bark beetles?” Another merry laugh. “They kill the tree slowly. There is enough time to find another home.”

Fili nodded and couldn’t think of another thing to say. His fear had abated into a mild nervousness.

“Say,” the wood nymph. “Would you mind sitting with me? I rarely meet humans, the last one was many, many seasons ago. Will you tell me about your people?”  
“Sure,” Fili said, not even knowing why he suddenly trusted the creature enough to sit beside him. He lowered himself down, his back to the tree, and the nymph sat down cross legged before him. This close, Fili couldn’t help but notice the nakedness and the so humanlike features that the sight of his bare crotch made him stare. There was no hair, just smooth skin, and only when the creature, the nymph, burst into another merry laughter, did Fili realise what he was doing. His face burning, he covered his eyes with one hand.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry, he whispered. “God, I’m sorry, I didn’t...”  
“Oh, I have nothing to hide.” He chuckled. “Why does it make you uncomfortable?”  
“It’s... for humans, that is... uhm... private.”  
“Oh.” The merry smile didn’t change and he ran his hands through his hair in an elegant gesture. When he lowered them again he had skilfully covered his lap with the black, silky strands and strings of leaves.

“Kil Bâhazunsh Zunshfalâl Li Ulnasu Barathmurn.”  
“What?”  
“My name. But from experience I know it is hard for your kind to say it. You can call me Ki Li.”  
“Kili, huh?” Fili had to laugh now. The whole situation was so absurd he had given up being rational. “My name’s Phil O’Durin. My friends call me Fili.”

The wood nymph laughed, a pealing, pleasant sound, and Fili couldn’t help but smile. “Kili and Fili, we were meant to be friends!” He held up both hands, palms forward, fingers spread. “Well met.”  
“Uh.” Fili raised his eyebrows.  
“We touch fingers.” He smiled. “If you want.”  
“Oh. Okay.” Fili copied the gesture and rested his fingertips against Kili’s. “Like that?”  
“Yes!” Kili said with a happy smile. “Well met!”  
“Well met.” Fili dropped his hands again with a smile. 

“Your name.”  
“What about it?” Fili began to relax. Too bad he would never be able to talk about this to anyone if he didn’t want to end up in a nuthouse.  
“Does it mean anything?”  
“Uhm... It’s a name.” He cleared his throat. “Does yours mean anything?”  
Kili laughed again, and it was such a pleasant, happy sound it made Fili smile. “Yes. Those are words to describe me. Bâhazunsh Zunshfalâl:” He held up a strand of hair. “Raven feather.”  
“And... the other part.”  
“Ulnasu Barathmurn?”This time, Kili laughed even louder. “Even more fitting than the first part. Lover of Raspberries.”  
This time, Fili joined the laughter. “Kili Raven Feather, the raspberry lover?”  
“That is me.” Kili was still laughing. “But now, as we are introduced and have become friends, please, friend Fili, tell me about your people.”

Fili wasn’t really sure where to begin, but then he started with himself, his job and his friends. Kili started asking questions, and it wasn’t before it was getting dark that Fili took his leave. He had neither tent nor blanket, but he promised to return.

Return he did. Strangely enough. Fili, who for his whole life had denied the existence of everything but the everyday life around him, had become the friend of a creature out of fairytales and legends. He stayed the whole week, and took his leave with the promise of returning next year. 

**Lonely Mountain Forest Estate, Summer 1962**

Fili had spent his week of leave in the forest every single year, and he had learned a lot during those weeks. He had learned how the wood nymphs came into being, manifesting from the life force of ancient trees so old they brimmed with the energy of the earth. He hadn’t quite understood it, hadn’t even tried, but what he had understood was that a nymph could easily relocate if the tree they lived in – how that exactly worked he had never asked – died for whatever reason. They simply chose a new tree, like humans would move house, and spent some time in the cradle of the roots, which probably meant they slept in the earth beneath or between the roots before being at home in the new domicile. 

He had never asked how far they were able to travel to find a new tree. But most likely, not this far. He had read about the fire in the news, but to see it now, miles and miles of desolation and blackened remnants of trees, was even more heartbreaking than the pictures. 

The grove was gone. No more soft moss on the ground. The tree was gone, burnt down to the ground, like all the others around him. His eyes burning, Fili looked around, but there was only burned earth and ashes as far as the eye could see. The summer had been dry and hot. No one knew if it had been the thoughtlessly discarded cigarette end of a dog walker or a carelessly unwatched campfire, and it mattered little. 

Fili slowly sat down on the rock, and felt his eyes begin to burn. “Kili?”  
But of course, there was no answer. With slow and heavy steps, Fili walked towards the rock and sat down, buried his face in his hands, and cried. How long he had sat there he didn’t quite know; looking at the sun he guessed it to be two hours, or little more. With a heavy sigh he slid off the rock, and as he was about to leave, he had one last look around.

It was then that he saw it. Ducked behind and half hidden under the rock, was a tiny little sapling. A sapling no larger than Fili’s hand, and it was probably because of this that it had been able to survive the fire, shielded by the rock. Fili’s heart began to beat faster as he looked at the tiny tree. “Kili?”

Would Kili be sleeping in the roots of this sapling? Was it even possible? And how would he even be able to survive if he was?  
Fili’s mind was quickly made up. He left the grove in what aw almost a run, and when he had finally reached his pick-up, he was so out of breath his lungs were burning. His legs hurt, too, but he dropped into the driver’s seat, backed the car and drove down the forest road and as close to the remnants of the grove as he could. 

Even after these years, Fili was still a lumberjack, and he always had his tools in the back of the pick-up truck. Among these tools was a folding spade, and equipped with that and a plastic bag, hastily emptied of empty cans of beer, he made his way back to what had once been Kili’s home.

It took him two hours of careful digging, first with the spade, and then with his bare hands, until he was finally able to lift the sapling out of the earth in the surety of not having damaged a single root. He carefully placed the clump of earth into the plastic bag and rolled that down to turn it into a makeshift flower pot. He carried it as carefully as he could back to his truck, placed it on the floor in front of the passenger seat and placed his heavy safety boots beside it so there was no chance of it falling over and spilling the precious earth.

Fili had no idea if what he was doing would make any difference. Most likely not, but even though, he was a man who never gave in without a fight. But when he had left the ruined forest behind, he had no idea where to go. The only thing he was sure of was that he could not possibly plant the tree in his garden. It needed a safe place, surrounded by other trees; preferably a safe place where loggers would never reach it.

It was then that he thought of the place of his birth. He had been born in the Blue Mountains, he knew the rolling hills and steep flanks, the valleys and rivers by heart, and it was there that he headed now. 

It took him two days to reach the Blue Mountains, and after two more days of hiking, he had reached a small valley that was as far away from the nearest path as possible with still being below the tree line. He wasn’t sure if a red oak could survive at this altitude, but maybe it would, long enough at least for the wood nymph resting in its roots to find another tree to live in. He was still clinging to the faint hope that Kili could be saved. After finding a nice little clearing, he carefully put down the sapling, took the spade he had carried with him out of his pack and began to dig.

Then he used the plastic bag to carry water from a nearby stream to the newly planted sapling to make sure it could grow. He had planted as many trees during the last years as he had cut down and he knew what he was doing. 

Fili spent the night in the little clearing, with only a small fire for light and warmth. With the first grey light of morning, he left again, trying to banish the images of the desolation from his mind and instead memorizing the beautiful little clearing with the small stream in a valley of the Blue Mountains. 

**Blue Mountain Reserve, Summer 1979**

Fili had returned to the small clearing in the valley every year. Had watched the red oak grow, protected from the worst of the elements in the secluded little valley. 

It had become a beautiful tree, and since it had not been forced to stretch for the light due to its place in the middle of the clearing, it wasn’t as high as it would have been in a forest. It was just about nine yard in heights, but it had a beautiful, dome shaped crown almost six yards in diameter. The first branches were no higher than two yards above the ground. 

It was a warm day, and the way up hadn’t been as easy on Fili as it had been in the years prior. The last year had been hard, and his health hadn’t recovered. It never would.  
Leaning his back against the tree he closed his eyes, relishing the coolness of the shadow under the dense foliage. 

Seventeen years. He had come here for seventeen summers, each time worried about the wellbeing of the young tree, but it had grown beautifully. But he had never seen or found a trace of his friend.  
Seventeen years of missing Kili and his bright, merry laughter and his sparkling eyes. His hope had dwindled every time he had been up here and found no sign of him, and this, he knew, had been his last chance. There would be no next time. He was only five and fifty years, but there were things not even modern medicine could cure. 

Fili sighed heavily. The hike had exhausted him more than he cared to admit, and he listened to the wind stirring the leaves as he remembered Kili, his beautiful nymph. The one being who had never judged him, reprimanded him, when he had told him of his sexual preferences and the dire consequences those had for his life if they would ever become known. That no longer mattered, either. He wouldn’t live to see another summer. 

He dozed off, giving in to his exhaustion. And in his dreams, he could still hear his wood nymph’s beautiful voice, calling his name, calling him his friend. He startled awake when something touched his face. 

“Fili, my friend.”

Fili rubbed his eyes, sure he was still dreaming. Imagining things. Hallucinating. 

“Fili?”

“Kili?” His voice was rough and close to breaking. “Is that really you?”  
There it was, the merry twinkle he had missed so much, and he looked up, his face half obscured by unruly strands of black silk and stands of narrow green leaves. “Who else could it be?”  
“Kili...”  
“My friend...” Kili knelt down before him and took Fili’s hands. “I was hoping to see you again. I awoke this spring, and never would I have imagined to do so in a beautiful place like this. This was your doing, yes?”  
Fili nodded, holding on to those hands with all his strength. “I found a little sapling and... I remembered what you told me. I brought it here in the hopes of... of seeing you again.” Then the tears broke free. “God, I’ve missed you, my friend...”

Kili moved closer, then a frown appeared on his beautiful face. “How many years have passed since then?”  
“Seventeen,” Fili replied after wiping his eyes. “Seventeen years. And now that I finally... finally found you again...” He swallowed hard. “Kili, I’m sorry that our reunion is a bittersweet one. I can’t tell you how happy I am that my hopes have been fulfilled. But this is the last time we will see each other.”  
“What do you mean?” Kili’s eyes widened and he increased the pressure of his fingers around Fili’s. “What are you talking about, my friend?”  
“I am ill, Kili. I have brain cancer, an illness that can’t be cured. I’ve got little time left, and I know I won’t be here anymore next summer. Most likely, I won’t live to see another spring.”

Kili remained silent, and his eyes began to fill with tears.  
“I’m sorry. But I can die in peace now, knowing that you still live.”  
“My friend...” Kili shook his head and his tears spilled over, trickled down his cheeks. “How can this be? How can the world be so cruel?”  
“You knew, though. We both knew from the beginning that I would grow old and die away from you.”  
“Yes.” Kili leaned forward and touched his forehead against Fili’s. “But I had hopes to have many happy summers with you yet.”  
“So did I.” Fili closed his eyes. “But it wasn’t meant to be.”

Their eyes met, and both were captured in each other’s gaze. Then, slowly, Kili reached out and rested one hand on Fili’s cheek without breaking the gaze. “Will you grant me one last wish?”  
“Anything.”  
“Then please.” Kili got up and held out his hands. “Dance with me.”  
“Dance?” Fili got up with a small chuckle. “What kind of dance?”  
“The dance of love and life. Shed those garments and join me.”

Fili looked into those warm brown eyes. This was their last time together. Why worry about anything else? He quickly shed his clothing and let Kili take his hand and lead him onto the clearing. And closing his eyes, Fili let his beautiful wood nymph take both of his hands and they danced.

They got closer to each other, there was a warmth between their bodies that felt so good to Fili, so good, and he welcomed the embrace, the contact of skin on skin, and he finally found the answer to the question that had been burning in his mind for all those years now. Kili’s skin felt soft and smooth, and warm, just as his lips. They danced, bodies pressed against each other, until the sun had vanished behind the ridges of the mountain and the moon had replaced the sunlight. Then they had lain down in the soft grass and with their hands on each other, had brought each other sweetly and gently to completion. 

They spent the night in each other’s arms, and there was no longer need for any words.

But when Fili rose with the first rays of sunlight to relieve himself, he felt his headaches had returned. Not now. Not now, when he was spending his last time with his friend who had somehow become his lover during the hours of moonlight. But then the pain intensified. With a moan, Fili clutched his head and fell onto his knees.

He felt Kili’s arms around almost instantly, and was lowered gently to the ground. His vision was fading, and the pain was so vicious now he could hardly breathe. He could hardly see anymore.

“You are fading,” Kili said, his voice heavy and rough. “You are dying.”  
“I’m sorry.” Fili closed his eyes. “I wanted...” It was like a stab of a knife into his head, and he gasped. “God, I wanted...”

He felt Kili get up, but he did not see as he walked towards his tree and reached for one of the higher branches. He did not see the small, green acorn he touched grow and ripen within the space of three heartbeats. He did not see him come back, but he felt him put something small into his hand. With great difficulty, Fili closed his fingers around it. Kili gently rested that hand on his chest. 

“If you could stay with me after you have shed this mortal form, would you do so?”  
“Yes.” Fili said with as much as a smile as he could muster. The pain was spreading in his whole body, a dull ache now that somehow replaced all sensations. Speaking became very difficult. “I would, even as only a tree. I could spend another lifetime with you.”

Kili’s lips on his was the last thing Fili felt.

The wood nymph parted the earth under the body of his friend and lover, and closed it again to cover him, the acorn still on his chest. And for the rest of that summer, he shed enough tears on Fili’s grave to soak the ground. He welcomed winter that year and the oblivion it brought.

Another spring came. And as Kili awoke with the budding leaves, he felt the life all around him stir and grow. And he knelt down at the small sapling that just stretched towards the sunlight.

“Hello, my love,” he whispered and caressed one of the leaves with a gentle finger.

  
  



End file.
